Green sheets are the semi-annual performance evaluation forms undertaken for all officers by their direct supervisors.
Halfway through 1988, the year I spent as a police “intern” following one homicide shift, I walked into roll call to find a completed green sheet in my mail box. My listed duties: “In-house armchair quarterback. Kibbitzer.”
It scans poorly so allow me to quote some of the best parts:
“…Intern Simon generally shows up to work though his schedule remains something of a mystery. He is an avid reader and since he has no actual function or responsibility he has become quite adept at telling the rest of us what is going on around here.”
“Intern Simon never acts as O.I.C. as there are others more qualified. He has been observed in the company of females on several occasions. However, the relationship with these women is unclear and his true sexual orientation remains in doubt.”
“Intern Simon has been apprised relative to the department’s alcohol abuse program.”
My favorite year, without question.