Insert scene: A60-
FOR PRODUCTION, TO FILM 8/31.
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM #1/HOMICIDE UNIT – NIGHT
BUNK, MCNULTY sit, worried. A long beat of frustrated silence before MCNULTY leans back in his chair, speaks.
MCNULTY
If they were going to do me, I’d be done already.
BUNK
Now, later. They’re gonna do you.
MCNULTY
I’m not so sure.
BUNK
You really think we need to discuss this some more? Whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen.
MCNULTY
What are you saying?
BUNK
I’m not sure this conversation is going anywhere, Jimmy.
MCNULTY thinks on this, nods.
BUNK
I’m sayin’ this like that song by whatshersame, you know? Whatever the fuck is gonna be is gonna be.
MCNULTY
Doris Day.
BUNK
Say what?
MCNULTY
Doris Day. Que-sera-sera?
BUNK
The fuck are you going on about, motherfucker?
MCNULTY
That’s the song. Que Sera Sera, by Doris Day. Whatever will be will be.
BUNK
The shit that’s clogged up in your fuckin’ head. Amazing.
MCNULTY
You brought up the song, bitch. I’m here trying to figure out whether or not I’m gonna get done and you’re talking in gay-ass clichés.
BUNK
You ain’t goin’ to get done.
MCNULTY
How do you know?
BUNK
How do I know?
MCNULTY
Yeah. Which god came down to Baltimore and gave you the power to see the motherfuckin’ future. This is my life on the line here.
BUNK
Calm the fuck down.
MCNULTY
How can I?
BUNK
Look, you know the rest of the story.
MCNULTY
I do?
BUNK
Motherfucker, they done moved the whole script. And you read to the end of this shit, right?
MCNULTY
I know what it says so far, but all these fucking revisions. They’re up to cherry-colored pages . . .
BUNK
Buff.
MCNULTY
What?
BUNK
Buff pages. Last revision was buff.
MCNULTY
Fuck buff. These pages right here are second white.
BUNK
That’s what I’m sayin’, Jimmy, we’re far along in the process here.
MCNULTY
But they could still revise it more. Like this scene here . . .
BUNK
They ain’t gonna shoot this bitch.
MCNULTY
You sure?
BUNK
Motherfucker, they lookin’ at a seven-and-a-half page day tomorrow already. Simon tries to add this shit to that sked and the crew will bank his white ass.
MCNULTY
I dunno. I think that cocksucker has been asking for impossible shit so long, he just figures . . .
BUNK
He is a motherfucker, but Jimmy, this one would go too far.
MCNULTY
So we’re done?
BUNK
Done. These pages ain’t gonna actually get shot, Jimmy.
MCNULTY
So we’re just talking here.
BUNK
Talkin’ shit about ourselves for ourselves. We a drunkass pair of meta motherfuckers right now.
MCNULTY
I love the way you say shit like that.
BUNK
Well, it’s the script.
MCNULTY
But you make the shit sound good.
BUNK
I do.
MCNULTY
Profane, but poetic.
BUNK
Yeah, fuck.
MCNULTY
Motherfuck.
BUNK
Fuck me.
MCNULTY
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.
BUNK
Aw fuck.
MCNULTY
Yeah. Fuck, yeah.
On MCNULTY and BUNK, nodding in fucking affirmation of just how fucking good The Wire crew is, just how fucking grateful the writers are, how there is not–we repeat, not–another scene remaining that we could ask you to shoot,
FADE TO:
THE END