Archive for category: Blog

Grievous assimilation on the streets of New York

28 Oct
October 28, 2015

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“Plain bagel, heavy on the mayonnaise.  And Brad, could you trim away the crust on it?  Thanks.”

Some brief correspondence regarding the Chicago Cubs

22 Oct
October 22, 2015

Email from James Yoshimura, because he is A Northsider, at October 21, 2015, 6:09 pm:

“Sisyphus ain’t got shit on me!  Go Cubs, Yosh.”

Email from David Simon, because he is A Giver, at October 21, 2015, 6:17 pm:

“All America is with you.  Except for about 80 million of the assholes.”

Email from James Yoshimura, still A Northsider, at October 22, 2015, 9:22 a.m.

“All of America can go fuck itself. And if it’s looking for Sisyphus, the
prick’s drinking with me and will until next spring training.”

God help Yosh and all the others laboring in the deep bowels of their dark, forbidding mine.  The Cubbies are relentless.  They are an anvil, with another anvil tied to them for weight.  God help you good people.

 

Probably smarter, possibly funnier.

11 Sep
September 11, 2015

A letter to the editor that ran in The Washington Post Magazine last Sunday in reply to a profile of me that said I resembled Homer Simpson’s smarter brother:

 
The Washington Post Magazine
Letters to the editor
David Simon’s older brother takes umbrage at a description in our story:
I read with great interest your piece about David Simon, my little brother. I am 14 years older than David, and I am intensely proud of him. However, I must take great umbrage at the statement that “Simon … looks from some angles like Homer Simpson’s much smarter brother.”  First the implication is that I am Homer Simpson and second, that David is smarter than me. You will be hearing from my attorneys.
Gary L. Simon, medical professor, GWU

 

In a Jewish family, the doctor is always the smarter child.  The TV writer is supposed to advance the funny.  And presently, I find myself routed on both flanks at once.

Comeback Clip

15 Nov
November 15, 2014

Love this so hard.

The nationalist veil

24 Jul
July 24, 2014

Make no mistake, Vladimir Putin is a thug, a neo-Tsarist xenophobe and complicit in the chain of events that led to Ukranian separatist rebels mistakenly downing a civilian airliner.  He should reflect on his performance and its result, and he should begin to make what amends he can offer.   Nothing that follows mitigates against any of the above.

However:

“….As of 1993, the United States had not apologized to Iran.  In 1996, the United States and Iran reached “an agreement in full and final settlement of all disputes, differences, claims, counterclaims” relating to the incident at the International Court of Justice, including a recognition of the incident in the form of “…the United States recognized the aerial incident of 3 July 1988 as a terrible human tragedy and expressed deep regret over the Loss of lives caused by the incident…” As part of the settlement, the United States did not admit legal liability but agreed to pay on an “ex gratia” basis US$61.8 million, amounting to $213,103.45 per passenger, in compensation to the families of the Iranian victims…”

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